How we got started...

 On September 30th, 2020 I gave in to the pain I had been experiencing in my right knee and went to my Primary Care Physician. We did X-rays and a few rounds of cortisone shots that really had little to no effect on the pain. So she set me up with a referral for an Orthopedic Surgeon.

When my MRI results came back showing how much damage had been done to all 3 compartments of my knee, my new Surgeon wasted no time scheduling me for surgery. On October 20th, 2020, pain took on a whole new meaning for me, it is called a total knee replacement. 

6 weeks later, for my follow-up appointment, I returned to see my Surgeon. He had, beforehand, warned me that for the first 6-8 weeks after surgery I would hate him. He was not wrong. He gave me even more reason to dislike him that day. He told me that his prognosis of me returning to my long-time career, as a restaurant general manager, was very slim. 

Anyone who really knows me will share with you that I can be very stubborn. It is a personality flaw. Because of that flaw, I held out just a glimmer of hope that I could return to the days of old. To those countless hours of standing, squatting, & running on those mind, body, and soul-crushing floors, of every restaurant I had ever had the pleasure of working in. It wasn't that I loved or hated my jobs, it was just what I had done for so long, it was how I supported my life and part of my children's lives for many years. It turns out that habits are hard for me to break and if there is one thing that I do not do well, it is quitting. Just another one of my personality flaws.

I was taught early on in my life not to put all my eggs in 1 basket so I dabbled with the idea of making and selling candles. A hobby, if you will, that I could play with, while I was recovering and until I went back to work.

I started to really enjoy my hobby, it gave me the freedom to be creative but also to sit when I needed to and allow my knee to heal. Toying with the idea of starting a candle company, joyfully trotted through my brain often. Although, thoughts of my career were still front and center of what I thought was going to do with my future. That was until my left knee let me down.

On August 26th, 2021, any and all aspirations of returning to work that I knew, died with my left knee, as it was replaced. To say I was depressed would be a very mild statement to make. I felt very useless, hopeless, and dependent. At the age of 47, I had had 2 surgeries that only older people normally have to go through. I was aged and old in my mind. I had little to no love for myself anymore. Needless to say, it was not a good look for me. 

I knew I had to do something to pull my head out of where it was residing and I started feeling like I need to do something with myself. This is where my hobby basket, which held just a couple of my eggs, came into clear view. I settled on my starting line. It had to be something I loved to do, something that wouldn't punish my body but that would keep my mind engaged and my body more active. 

Today, I am very thankful for my grandmother continually telling me about my eggs and my basket and for her saying "this too shall pass" every time I was down. She is the voice in my head, pushing me onward. She is the reason I can not quit. My motivation for starting Chaizing Fireflies Candle Company comes from strength and courage.... it comes from my childhood and those who taught me to be stubborn and unwavering.